Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the Known Legacy podcast, brought to you by Known Legacy Ministries. For more information, go to knownlegacy.org now here's your hosts, Bill and Travis.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: Good morning.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: Good morning.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: We're so glad that you're listening today.
I kind of. I looked at you and then I. And I looked at the. I was thinking about our beautiful listeners and I was like, we're so glad that you're here with us. I don't know what to do with my hands.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Hey, guys, thank you so much for listening to us. This is Known Legacy. This is Travis. Over there is Bill. We're still learning and Kyle's in the corner.
[00:00:41] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: And we're so excited that you have chosen to listen to us for whatever reason, whether it be on a Spotify podcast or it be through Apple podcast or whatever. Thank you so much. If you would please give us a, like, if you want to give us a review, that'd be fantastic. If you want to share information with us, do it with infolandlegacy.org that'd be great. You can follow us on YouTube. You can watch our mugs on Facebook and YouTube and yeah, just check out
[00:01:07] Speaker B: all the good places, all that good stuff. We are so glad that you're here to help us. Wake up, gear up, and come alive because I'm a little tired today, so. Wake up is going to be a big thing today.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: I can tell. Why don't you tell us a little bit about the men's retreat coming up and your book, brother?
[00:01:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a couple things coming up, man. We have a men's retreat coming up April 10th through the 12th. We still have some more discounts, so, man, we'd love to have you be a part of that.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: College age, kids. You should make it.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: Yes, you should. We have a special discount for students, anybody between 18 and 25. If you're 30 and you're a college student, I'm gonna give you. You probably don't need the college discount. So. But we'll see.
We'll. We. We'll figure that out. But yeah, we'd love to have you there. There are still some spots available. They are going fast, so make sure you guys sign up for that as well as man, we do have the book more than you and we have a book study. If your church is looking for.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: A men's study. We would love you to, to be a part of that specifically. So make sure that you guys let us know info at Known Legacy. We will hook you up with that study for free.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Don't you do a phone bible study on a regular basis?
[00:02:02] Speaker B: We also have one more thing we want to continue. We are here to serve you guys
[00:02:07] Speaker A: at the bottom line. We're here to serve you.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: We really are. We want men to come alive and so to wake up things we to offer. But hey, we have a study every single Thursday called adrenaline shot. At 6:45 in the morning, you just get on the phone and we would love to have you be a part of that as well. We'll put the link down in the bio for you to sign up to that. We'd love to have you be a part of that. It's a great way to start your Thursday. Get a little, little adrenaline shot, A
[00:02:31] Speaker A: little adrenaline, a little cappuccino.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: How you doing? You doing good?
[00:02:34] Speaker A: You know, I'm doing really well. Just came back from a spiritual renewal retreat with some guys.
We're out in the country, west Texas. It is dry out there, man dust everywhere, but it's fantastic. Got to see some amazing animals, shoot some fantastic guns and lot of laughter, a lot of campfire time. And if I'm honest, probably too many cigars. I'll just be honest with you.
[00:02:54] Speaker B: Just be honest with you. That's how it goes.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: But anyways, gentlemen, here, here's the question of the day.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Question of the day.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: So was re listening to our conversation with small bone and his kind of reflection of being at the age he's at and how he's still making an impact for the kingdom.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: And long time ago accent.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: Oh yeah, it was beautiful.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: A long time ago, I had a gentleman kind of tell me I was probably my 30s. He goes, hey, in life make sure you don't retire from something, but you retire to something. And that always stuck with me.
And I think a lot of us, if we're honest, we are focused on retiring from something, not to something.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: So here's the question.
[00:03:36] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:36] Speaker A: What do you want to retire to?
Right. Is it location, is it a vocation, is it a style, a life? You know, is it what. What do you want to retire to?
[00:03:52] Speaker B: That's a good question.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: So that's, that's the question that I can go first if you want me to, while you guys have a chance.
So this is, I mean all things been equal. I know my wife's heart and she has always wanted a wedding venue that we would manage a wedding venue. And I do think like retiring. I don't want to be the guy that retires and then spends his afternoon listening to tv.
Watching TV and doing nothing. Like, I want to be active and do stuff. So to have, like, a few acres of land that you have to manage that you have to invest some time, energy, and sweat equity into on a regular basis, maybe do some kind of farming. I would love it if we had, like, five or six bungalows where guys, church workers and their families or their spouses could come in for a week and do some rest and relaxation and me do some coaching and just kind of processing through life with them and then have this cool wedding venue that my wife could dabble in.
And after the first wedding, go, I'm never doing this again. Only to have to do it again, again and again.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Because I'm booked out six months right now, so.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Because daddy ain't made of money and we need something to pay for the bills, but that would be it, man. Some, like, you know, 5, 10 acres, some bungalows, bring guys in to get healed up, get their marriages restored, and tend to farm and maybe let my wife do some wedding planning in a venue.
[00:05:08] Speaker B: That's awesome. Kyle, what about you, bro?
[00:05:10] Speaker C: Oh, you're gonna do me next time?
[00:05:11] Speaker B: Yes, yes. Because I saw the light on. I wanted you to go.
[00:05:16] Speaker C: I'm gonna be on a boat somewhere in the Caribbean with my wife and my dog.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: Jamaica, Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
[00:05:25] Speaker C: And let me be clear. We will not be just floating around like we're gonna just island hop and spend like two or three months and get to know the island, the culture. And it will be the eastern Caribbean, not the West. Western.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: What's the difference?
[00:05:38] Speaker C: Oh, we're not Third World. Third world versus first world.
[00:05:41] Speaker B: We are not learned in the ways of the western and eastern Caribbean culture.
[00:05:45] Speaker C: Think St. Martin, St. Bart, St. Thomas.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Versus all the places I would normally go. Dominican, Haiti.
[00:05:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Cuba.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: Okay, nice.
[00:05:57] Speaker A: I gotcha. So all the resorts I can't afford versus all the resorts I would love to go to but can't afford. I like it. You do that. You do that. I love that.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: And his other side of that is inviting one of us on the constant all the time.
That. For days.
[00:06:11] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Weeks. Anybody info unknown legacy. If you want to be part of Kyle's cruise ship, let us know. It's a. It's a lengthy. It's. It's. It's a pretty healthy cost. But anyways, you know, we'd love to have you be part of that. So for me, I think for me, as we're talking about it, me and Sarah have always talked about owning, like, a shop, like a Coffee shop or something like that. Because I. I feel coffee. Coffee's not really my thing.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Shocking.
Shocking.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: But, yeah. So. So I. I think we would love to do something because she. She likes to stay busy, and I like people, so I think. I think we would probably, like, fall asleep or if we just, like, we. I don't know what we do with our lives. We just, like, I'd sleep on the couch.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: Who'd be responsible for cleaning the coffee shop?
[00:06:54] Speaker B: We would hire someone. Okay, good. Neither of us. That argument does not have to exist. But, I mean, I. But I'm. I could be the one. Like, she's. And she's pretty. Like, she's very, like, friendly. Friendly and, like, you know, open and talking to. But she gets drained like that. I'm like, I'm there.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: I could be there all day, like, holding my coffee. How y' all doing? Come on in. You know, so I. And probably, like, by the beach somewhere. Oh, like coffee shop by the beach. You know, making amazing pastries or donuts for all the surfer dudes out there before.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: You know, you know, all that kind of stuff. So I think that'd be something we probably want to do.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: That'd be fantastic.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: Be a lot of fun. That would be.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: That'd be great.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: But I love. I love what you talked about David, because I, I. That's what we're kind of hitting on today. David. David Smallbone.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: Oh, sorry. I thought you were directing at me. I'm like, I'm not David, but I'll play along.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:07:39] Speaker C: That's what it sounded like. But he said, I love that you talked about David.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: About David. Exactly. Thank you.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: I know I'd love that you talked about David.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: For all those who are listening, you guys can rewind a little bit and see that I was right for once in my life.
It's never on camera.
[00:07:55] Speaker A: So I'm just a dumb fisherman. I got nothing.
I had myself a doctorate then I'd know what you talking about.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: Inside joke. Inside joke. So. But no, I. You know, as we talked about when. When David was on the podcast, this idea of man, of as he got older, he saw the value of making an impact in the world beyond him.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: And I love that, that wisdom. But there's this theme that I keep seeing as I talk to men that are. As they get older, they really. That starts to come into sight. And I guess my thought is, like, what if we just did it earlier?
What if we didn't have this feeling of guilt or fear of the future because we Invested earlier. And I think there's some things we're going to talk about today that I think would be really valuable for us to look at. So if you're listening today, man, we want you to start to look with the end in sight today. And the first thing that we talk about a lot is, man, writing your own obituary right now.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Well, starting on that light note. That's fantastic.
[00:08:59] Speaker B: Exactly. Let's jump. Jump deep in.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: No, actually, one of the things on the spiritual renewal retreat, there's a group of guys that come, all church workers, and I kind of facilitate the conversations and kind of make that happen. And.
And so one of the days, I sent them out 600 acres, land, you know, you could walk for miles and hours or whatever. And it's a exotic game ranch, so you can always stumble on animals and everything else. And so I was like, okay, for 30, 45 minutes to an hour, go. And I want you to write your obituary. And then I want you to evaluate your current life to what you want your obituary to say and see if there's any inconsistencies and maybe what you need to do about that. And they all came back kind of upset with me because, again, no one wants to know. That means a very morbid task to think about death. And yet all of them appreciate it. And some of the best conversation we had the entire week was over that idea.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: You know. Yeah, it was. It was excellent.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Well, I think, you know, so we get in the grind. I mean, you know, it's like your kids are born, and the next thing you know, they're five and seven, and then, oh, well, we want to try them out in sports, and we want to go and do this. So now they want to be in, you know, camping thing, or they want to do this, and then you just get busy. And then it becomes, get up, go to work, do my thing, take care of these problems, go through, and then you move. And I don't know if you guys have had this, but you wake up one day and you're like, whoa, I'm like, 45. And, wow, I'm not 20, 25 anymore. Life went by. Oh, yeah.
And there's something valuable about that in those 30s and those 40s to stop and assess and go, am I really on the path that I want to be on?
[00:10:31] Speaker A: Right.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: I remember, you know, I didn't. You know, I was. I was in Boy Scouts. And things that we did, we would do a lot with. With the compass, and they're like, make sure that you're not you're not off a degree, because it's amazing that if you're off a degree right now and you go a mile, you are far more than a degree off. And so to stop and assess and go, okay, even in my car, if you're sitting in your car and you're listening to this, driving to work, just take an assessment of, like, timeout. If. If I died today is where I'm at, where I want to be.
[00:11:01] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:11:02] Speaker B: That's not a detriment. That's not a. That's not a time to just go, woe is me and. And feel guilty. But to then make an assessment, no, it isn't where I want to be. And then. So then where do I want to go? So take some time and really take the exercise to list it off and go, this is who I want to be when I die.
[00:11:19] Speaker A: Right.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: I would challenge you, take your obituary and say, this is the kind of man that I want to be remembered for. You know, I had the privilege to go to one of my friends mother's funeral this last. This last last week. And it was sad, but it was also, man, even there, you could see that she was an incredible woman whom. Who made a lot of steps throughout the year, throughout the years to make an impact in her family. And I love that thought of looking at your life and going, huh, what would people, and not even people would I be satisfied with the end result of where I'm walking towards right now.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: Right.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: So the biggest challenge, the first challenge, is to look at your life and make that. Make that change. But then don't freak out, because I think the next step is beginning to make a list of those things of who you want to be instead of getting scared and going, oh, no, it's all over. I've ruined this. So start to make some steps about who you want to be.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: Right, Right. Totally agree with you on that. And I would add.
And this is probably 2.5 on the step list.
[00:12:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, right.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Is to.
It can be overwhelming. And so I would encourage you shore up your foundation.
And this goes back to your illustration earlier, when you and your wife first started dating. You guys were very different places of your life. And then you kind of hit your first milestone, right. Fork in the road, you start having kids, and it changes everything. It changes patterns, it changes sleep, it changes expectations, it changes responsibilities.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: It changes everything. And all of a sudden, you become really invested business partners in the raising of these children.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: And if you don't intentionally keep pushing it back towards where a Married couple of one flesh, and you just remain as business partners. I've seen it happen way too many times where you get your kids into junior high or even high school, and the next thing you're like, wait, I'm not happy.
I don't even know this person. Yeah, we share a calendar. We share bank accounts, but we don't share anything else. And so there's certain milestones that I think it's really important for rediscovering what dating looks like and what pursuit looks like of your spouse. Because I know that today I pursue my wife very different than I did when I was 23.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:13:32] Speaker A: You know? Yeah. And if you don't engage in that and you assume like, oh, I'll just do what I did when I was 23. Ain't going to happen. Ain't going to happen. So make sure you shore up that foundation on your core relationships.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: You know, and I think the other one is, dude, I love going into, like, a whataburger or whatever early morning. Maybe it's the local coffee shop or maybe it's the local diner. And you see those old dudes, they gather together around the table, and they've been doing it every single week for the exact same time, every single. You know, and they just have. They have. Some of them have been friends since high school. Some of them have been friends since 50. It doesn't matter. But they have that routine of brotherhood.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: That if someone misses, they know someone's gonna be, you know, checking in on them. Someone's gonna be calling them. Someone's gonna be making sure that they're okay, seeing what kind of help. And they're helping each other as we become less and less available to do things on our own. And we have to depend on others.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: To have that brotherhood is huge. So shore up your foundation as you talk about and begin to identify what are some things that God's pruning in my life to help me become the man that I want to be, that he created me to be, most importantly. And then how do I shore up the foundation?
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Proverbs 27:17 says that without vision, the people will perish. And we've talked about this before, but the value that. That is not a church, like, just a church thing. That is a personal. Taking an assessment to go, who do I want to be? And I think it starts with us guys. That's the thing. It starts with us. Like, I'm so sick of people who are just kind of existing and eking through and they See failure after failure when God doesn't have that for us. Again, we've talked about this. God came to give life and give it abundantly. What if we right now took the assessment in ourselves and went, is this where I want to be when I die?
And then bring that back to our spouses and bring that back to our kids and say, man, hey, what would it be like if we made these changes? Or, honey, are you satisfied with where we are? Like, almost like. And that's a really, really hard question. So that comes with a lot of caveat because that could open up a lot of can of worms. But I think if we take the initiative, go, honey, I really want to move in this direction. What do you feel about this?
And man, those women who are pursuing after the Lord, I've not seen one of them go, no, I really feel like you need to shut up and sit down. I don't want to be led spiritually by a spiritual leader. It's mainly because of passivity, of us not stepping up to go, hey, I want to go and do this with you. So if we feel like, man, we've not connected with our spouses, that's our job. It's our job, just like you're saying to get up and say, hey, honey, I'm going to do a date night with you, or, hey, we're going to start to, hey, you look pretty, go do this. Like I said, you just go like, doll up yourself, we're going out to dinner. End of discussion, right? And then begin to soften that, that, that foundation so that you can have the conversation about, hey, where are we? But it takes with a step versus coming, going, here's my list. We're doing it. But like, hey, how, how are things going?
[00:16:31] Speaker A: Like, what do you, what do you dream about?
[00:16:32] Speaker B: What's on. Exactly. It's worth the time to get a babysitter for the kids if you're younger, or to make that, that and say, hey, we're gonna miss that one practice because we need to do this as a family. Because in 15 years, this practice, this, this, this is going to be gone, right? And it's going to be us.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Right?
[00:16:49] Speaker B: You know, I had a friend who, who somebody posted a, a meme about, like, man, make sure that you're spending time with your family, you know, with you and your spouse, that you're connected because someday the kids will be gone.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: Correct?
[00:17:00] Speaker B: That's normal. That's healthy. And so for us to not be connected to our spouse is so, it is so, man, so Detrimental to the future of who we are.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: So taking that time, see where you want to be and move forward from there.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: So here's the bonus. I'm going to throw this out. We haven't talked about this, but here's the bonus. This is my encouragement.
It's never too late to learn a new skill.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: And what I mean by that is I'm already evaluating. Like, okay, so I threw out to this entire community that I want to have a house on some land and be able to counsel guys going through.
Going through some things. Right.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:17:38] Speaker A: You know, it'd probably be smart for me to have some counseling degree or some. Something like that.
With education the way it is and the amount of information and teachers and what they're putting online, I could in essence, sit down and learn a master's level degree of counseling through those kind of free forms. But the challenge is I'm going to have to do that over following my fantasy football team or just watching football on a Sunday afternoon or doing anything that will satiate, but not necessarily grow me into who God is preparing me. Because again, who God called you to be at the beginning, who you are is never going to change. But what he's calling you to do and express who you are might change. And so that might mean some of us are in a career, we're pretty successful. We have some skills in that career, but we realize that those skills are soft or not necessarily the skills that will get me to the horizon that I desire.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: And so I can invest today. Small steps over four years can be huge distance.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: You know, I love that you're saying, because part of that make so. So get the obituary. Am I satisfied or not satisfied? If I'm not satisfied, make some steps.
Just write some tangible things on. That's the thing. We make it so ominous. It's not that difficult. Just like you said, if I want to get a degree, I might need to do one class for the next 10 years, but I'm going to do it. Remember, there was a guy who graduated college the same time as his kids, and he was like 67 or something like that. And you're like. And so it does not matter the timing. If you're still breathing, there's an opportunity that God wants to use you in this. But we don't generally try to come alive to that. We don't allow ourselves to. To have the opportunity to take these steps. So I'm going to challenge you guys in the boldness. Get that obituary. Start to make the steps okay. What are the things that I need to do? I want to get a degree. Great. What are the steps under that to make that happen? Hey, you know what? I want to be healthier. I need to lose some weight. What are some steps I need to take whatever it is, but literally breaking them down easy. Even if it is, I'm going to stop eating a Cinnabon in the morning. Like, that's it.
But then evaluating and then celebrating each of those steps that we take, we don't do that for ourselves. We're like, you're so. They're so far behind. I'm so. No, stop. Just start moving forward in faithfulness and
[00:20:01] Speaker A: then get your wife on board with you.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: Develop what you guys want together as a. As a team.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:06] Speaker A: And then get a brotherhood around you that's going to support you, care for you, hold you accountable, kick you in the tail from time to time, but most importantly, bring joy back to the life.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Because we need a brotherhood of people. We're not meant to do this alone, you know, someone else talking to, like, you. Your wife really can't be your accountability partner.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:20:22] Speaker B: I've seen more than time, more times than. I'm not saying you don't express where you are and be honest about your situation, but I'm talking about once you're there, they can't be your accountability partner for everything.
I mean, I know guys that are struggling with pornography, and to have their wife as their accountability partner is basically just telling them, hey, you're just not satisfying me.
You need to find someone who can help you walk through this tangibly, because you're going to find yourself not sharing that with them because you're like, I know that it's going to hurt them. You got to find a band of brothers that are going to be around you. So for all these steps, man, check out, you know, take the moment, assess your life, make the steps that are tangible and have some community around you.
[00:21:02] Speaker A: Correct that you.
[00:21:03] Speaker B: And then grow and strengthen this. This family unit that God has put you in charge of to start to walk towards who God's created you to become. So that's really just some encouragement today as we listen to what David Smallbone said in his 60s, 60s, or 70s, 70s.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: 70s.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: And said, Man, Almost like he even acknowledged, like, I wish I had started this earlier.
[00:21:23] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: Well, we get to.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:21:25] Speaker B: And even if you're in your 50s, you're like, I haven't. It's still time. You're still earlier than where? Than where David is not the same that he didn't start. But you still have an opportunity now to look at your life. Not now, but for the end of where you want to be.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Yep. Love it.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: Guys. We're so glad you let you that you checked this out today. I hope it's encouraging to you. Please share it with a friend if you have if you have social media, share it on your social media connect with us infooownlegacy.org we'd love to connect with you. Thank you. For those who have reached out and shared and called us out on some
[00:21:53] Speaker A: fun stuff, sign up for the retreat coming up at Info known legacy or knownlegacy.org and God bless you guys. Have a good week.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: Have a great week, guys.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to the Known Legacy podcast. We'd love to hear from you. So email us your questions or comments to infononelegacy.org.
