[00:00:01] Speaker A: You're listening to the Known Legacy podcast.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: Brought to you by Known Legacy Ministries.
[00:00:05] Speaker A: For more information, go to knownlegacy.org now.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Here'S your hosts, Bill and Travis.
So I have a secret behind the scenes, secret story time. So normally I feel like I'm like a host at a. Like a talk show.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Normally you are.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Normally this is coffee, but today this is tapo chico. Yes. We're not sponsored by them, so don't get all mad at me. Okay? Okay. But anyways, I needed to get away from the caffeine because all of a sudden I started doing this. Yeah, almost. There's a nice hot pot of coffee back there. And I was gonna grab. And I was like, no, no, no.
[00:00:41] Speaker A: Tapa chico. Like, like mineral water.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Like, I was. I was seeing sounds at this point, so I probably needed to get off.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: The caffeine for the sake of the podcast. Thank you very much, you guys, as always. Thank you guys for checking out Known Legacy Podcast. We're so excited that you're here listening to us. As always. You can check us out on Facebook, YouTube. YouTube, Instagrams. Bill's putting out some great stuff, and you're a lovely assistant. Your bride Sarah is doing an amazing job.
Kyle, our producers in the corner.
And as always, go to infonownlegacy.org if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or prayer requests. And you can find Bill's book on info
[email protected] as well as any information about our upcoming men's retreat.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Yes, we have a great men's retreat coming up, April 10th through the 12th.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: It's going to be fantastic.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: We're excited, man. We got a lot of guys coming. We got a lot of guys excited, and, man, we are doing something a little bit different than we did the last time, but, man, we are excited for guys to get away and understand who they are created to become.
So get yourself there if you need. Listen, if you need a scholarship. Yeah, Bill, at known legacy.org we want to connect with you. Yep, man, we want you to be there and be a part of what we're doing.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: So don't let money keep you from going to this amazing retreat. Never.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Never.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: And there's going to be some good campfire time there, and it's going to be well worth it. Well worth it. So question of the day.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: Question of the day.
I got so. I got so passionate about that one.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: It's a caffeine. Wait, wait.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Let's do it one more time. One more time. I get super passionate today. The question of the day is question of the day.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: The Olympics are about to begin.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: In fact, I didn't even applaud for that.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Olympic hockey on behind me.
[00:02:17] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: And so here's the question of the day. Let's say you could go back, do it all over again.
What Winter Olympic sport?
I feel like we're all going to have the same one. What winter Olympic sports would you be willing to commit to? To. To. To get skilled enough to actually make it to the Olympics?
[00:02:35] Speaker C: What do you mean? So not as we are now, but.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Go back to what, 20, whatever age you want. Like it could be last year, depending on the sport you choose. Like, I'm never going to go downhill skiing. Like, no, you know, I'm not going to be blades of glory and doing the mix skating. Any the eagle, Right? Any the eagle.
So what is that sport? If you could go back and you could, you could become so proficient in it, you could be an Olympic athlete. What winter sport would it be?
[00:03:03] Speaker B: I'll let you take it first. Kyle.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: He's gonna take it.
[00:03:06] Speaker C: I'm not gonna take it.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Oh, no, I'm going to.
[00:03:10] Speaker C: I want to be. I want to be on the team, but I want, I want to be on the team.
I'm gonna go with.
I don't know what it's called.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: Oh, that's a good start.
[00:03:20] Speaker C: Is it the luge or the bobsleigh?
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, because, you know, I could, I could add some.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: Mom, according to Newton, you would be the winner.
[00:03:28] Speaker C: You know, you don't have to really do much but hang on for dear life.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: Right.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: And so I don't know how much training's involved other than when you're supposed to lean or whatever.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: So that's what I'm gonna go.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: All right. All right.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: So I think for me, when I hear that, all sudden I go, feel the rhythm, feel the ride.
Awesome. Okay. What about you, Travis?
[00:03:50] Speaker A: Easy, easy, easy peasy.
And I think it's through my filter of being a 52 year old man and it's simply this curling. I would, I would love to be a curler. Like I would like if I lived up north, I think I would join the curling. You mean the broom man, or you.
[00:04:05] Speaker C: Have to do all of it? I don't know.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: I think you have to do it all. But dude, me on a broom. Just be ready. There'd be puddles in front of that because the weight of me leaning on that broom would create so much friction, it would melt through the ice is what would happen, you know? Oh, Man, I'd be the curler to guy. I'd want to be the guy that, that throws it with just the right little arc and little, you know, and.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: All that other stuff.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's me, Bill. How about you?
[00:04:31] Speaker B: Well, I'm gonna go with the same one because I don't have to lose weight for that one.
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: I feel it's funny. It's like I remember someone said, like, curling likes. It looks like a bunch of 40 year old dads who didn't never quit, like, you know, stay eating. Eating chips.
[00:04:46] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Found themselves on a field and started playing the game.
[00:04:48] Speaker C: And so I think that curling started when all those guys in Canada couldn't play hockey anymore in the neighborhood.
[00:04:54] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:04:54] Speaker C: And they came up with curling.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Hey, grab that rock. Grab that rock.
[00:04:58] Speaker A: Let's see who can get it closest.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: To that other rock. Let's do that.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Paint a circle. Let's try that. I guarantee that's how it started.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: And I promise you there was a 12 pack of Molson somewhere around there.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: Definitely a Canadian question.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: No question. Yeah. So no legacy curling. Coming to a rink near you. Coming to a rink near you. And you can buy.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: We're starting next Tuesday.
Tryouts are next Tuesday.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: And we might make the Olympics this year.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Never know. So. But we do have a amazing guest.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: We have an amazing guest, Arlene Pelane. Please welcome her to the podcast.
Hey, glad to have you on today. And I guess the question goes to you if you had to say anything.
[00:05:37] Speaker D: I was kind of hoping to dodge this question.
I can't put anything on my feet, so it cannot be skiing. It cannot be blades of glory. So I mean, it's. Is it Pink Pony? Is it that summer?
[00:05:52] Speaker B: I think it may. I don't know if ping pong is summer or winter, but we can accept it.
[00:05:56] Speaker D: That, that would be my answer because I don't have to put anything on my feet. I'm Asian. I'm already.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: We can accept that answer, Alec. That would be good.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: So I'll take it. That's awesome.
[00:06:09] Speaker D: It's probably summer, but hey, thank you.
[00:06:11] Speaker B: You know what? Hey, it's a good one. Ping pong is great and so I love that. That's awesome.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Fantastic. This is going to be an amazing podcast already.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: We already know it is. Man, we are so glad Arlene is here. She is a author and speaker and man, she is the host of the Happy Home podcast as well. So please shout out to that. We'd love you guys to check that out. And Arlene man, I've had it. Not man, but Arlene, woman.
Sorry.
But I've had a chance to read some of her book and it's hilarious. If you get a chance to pick this up, we'll, we'll put a link in the bottom. But Arlene, share your heart for ministry. Share your heart for why you started this and kind of your whole story.
[00:06:48] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness. I was that girl.
Men that you, you know, the, the, your wife, when you roll it back a few years and she's dreaming like, please, Lord, let me meet a man of God. Please let me marry a man of God. And I went through college, I worked for four years and I'm like, where is this man? So when I finally, it was grad school is where I met my husband James. We've been married 27 years. He was flipping. He was living hamburgers at new student orientation. And so he handed me a burger. I was like, okay. And then we actually got to know an outreach of the school, which was to the con nearby convalescent home. So it's very cute because we kind of started being friends and falling in love and such. You could say the genesis was at an old folks home. And then someday, you know, we will go there to the old folks home together. Maybe I don't know.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: My husband, like, this is a Hallmark movie.
[00:07:37] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Why James is very into fitness, so maybe he's just going to go straight, you know, from the ski slope to heaven. I don't know. So I've really enjoyed being married. I've loved being married. I've loved being a, a wife. We have three kids, boy, girl, girl. Now they're 21, 19, 16.
And as I looked around me, I'm like, why are, why are so many people, like, not happy in their marriages? Why are they complaining about their spouses saying that being a parent is so hard? And I'm not saying that these things are not without challenges. Of course they are. But where is the joy in this? Where is, where are those, like, simple things, rhythms? If you could get them down, you just like eliminate a lot of problems.
So I really just wanted to encourage. That was the main thing. Like I wanted to get out there and say, hey, you guys, being married is actually awesome.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:29] Speaker D: That's why I love working with marriage week. Marriageweek.org you can find out all sorts of things. It's every February 7th to 14th. So to support marriage in parenting, a lot of it was that, hey, if you raise your kids in those first five years to read respect you have fun in real life. No tablets, no. You know, and you just do that. You will be like, wow, this child is really quite an amazing person. And so we really try to share with people that delaying technology, addictive technology, makes such a big difference in the vibe of your home. So I'm really passionate about, hey, let's make marriage easier, more enjoyable. Let's cherish it. Let's make parenting where the parent, of course we are. We love our kids. Of course we are supportive. Of course we would go to the moon and back for them. But we're not your, we're not your best friend. We're not here to cater to you. We're not going to completely forget about our marriage because all we're doing is thinking of you. So how can we get that piece? And then obviously, how can we honor Christ and make him the center of it all?
[00:09:36] Speaker A: First off, thank you for doing that. We need more and more people in our culture raising the joy of marriage because I feel like marriage is under attack.
It has become more and more optional. And it's almost gotten to the point where it's like you're selling out or something if you're getting married. And I would love to know with you and your work with developing the book and kind of your mission and passion, what happened in our culture? Like, how did the shift get to the point now where so many young adults are delaying marriage or just opting out of marriage because they're enjoying going to the football games or whatever by themselves or with their friends and having their me time, self care time and everything else. How did that shift and where are we at versus where we need to be?
[00:10:22] Speaker D: Yeah, there are these swings. And Carl Caton, who works with Marriage Initiative, talks about this and he would do be so much more eloquent about this, but he talks about how we go through these swings of, oh, we, we love marriage, we want marriage, but then we go, oh, feminist movement, no fault divorce. We, we don't want to be tied down, we want to be independent and we swing again. Like, let's go autonomy, let's not do this marriage thing. And now we're at a state in our culture where it's like, okay, we've done this autonomy thing, but it hasn't made us happier and we won that swing back to, hey, we need to be connected again. So I think we are. We're. There's a lot of kids who have grown up and seen with their own eyes, like, oh, this marriage thing is hard. My parents broke up. I Don't want that. So we have a lot of that that's happening. So there needs to be that resurgence of strong families to say, oh, I do want that. For kids to see their own family. I do want that. I will fight for that. That is a good thing. So I think the personal examples that people saw, and again, the no fault divor course easier in our culture just made it much more acceptable to like, hey, let's, that's, that's probably a good idea. But Brad Wilcox over at the University of Virginia, he has all this research that shows, see, young people are told, you will be happy if you get a job, if you're college educated and you get to go home and you don't owe anything to anybody and you can do whatever you want. That's what they're told. And you know, social media is going to influence this, what their peers are going to influence this. Movies, tv, culture, music, all of it's going to do that. But statistically, you get a 29% boost in happiness as a college grad, a 51% boost if you have a good job. So that's great. But you get a 102% boost if you're married and a 219% boost if you're happily married. And the messaging, we have not done a good job at all in messaging to kids inside the church, outside of the church to say, hey, that's great, get a job, get a career. But you know What? In your 20s, look for someone to marry. Look for someone to commit your life to because as a young man, that marriage is going to mature you, it's going to call on you, it's going to make you be a completely different, more amazing person than if you were to roll through that as a single man. You know, it used to of course, be like, you know, it used to be very normal. Maybe like 89 of people 30 years ago in their 20s were married as men. Right now it's just, you know, 30 of like 25 to 35, let's say. So to really help, you know, we, it's funny, we made masculinity toxic. But then there's. What's. Is there toxic femininity, right? It's like, we don't talk about that.
So we made it like, don't be a man, you know? You know, yeah, it's like, wait, no, be a man and please do go provide for that woman and please do go protect that woman. Do raise a family and, and really calling men to that. And so I love a lot of the. A lot, obviously, video game addiction, pornography. That has a huge.
That's been amazingly bad for. For family formation. So those are definitely factors.
[00:13:41] Speaker B: I love. I'm loving this. I'm loving what you're saying. I mean, 200. You say 200. 1900.
[00:13:47] Speaker D: 19% boost if you're happily married.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: That's awesome. That's awesome. So I guess I would say if you could encourage the mar couples out there, because I do feel like there's this concave feeling in a lot of married couples. Like, we're going to just stay in our home and we're going to love each other because it's the right thing, but we don't know how to do this. How do you help them define success in their marriage outside in this world? Like, if you could say, hey, if, you know, if you're looking at these, at this couple and they're in their 20s and they're young and they want to do the right thing, what would you tell them about, hey, this is what I would define success over the next five years, over the next 10 years. Can you share some of that wisdom?
[00:14:20] Speaker D: And, and, and you know what? Every couple is going to be different. So one couple might be like, we're gonna, you know, work with kids because we love kids. Another couple might be like, we're artists, so we're gonna make stuff, you know, so it's. But it's. What is your expression? What is that music inside of you as individuals and then as a couple that you can do to God's glory. And again, National Marriage Week this year, the theme is Together with Purpose, which really answers your question so beautifully. To realize there's a purpose, there's more we than if we were alone. Is there something that we can do together? So maybe it's a church project. Maybe you're working with kids. Maybe you're serving your community in a certain way together. But it's okay if, if you don't have that and you. There's like individual things you're doing, but just have those talks for, for my husband James and I, our kids went to an elementary school very close to our home. A thousand kids at the elementary school. And we started an after school Bible club. It was called the Sunshine Club Public school. We started it when our oldest was in first grade. You know, he's 21 now, and we did it for 10 years. And you think of that like a decade of coming to the same school through all of our kids being there on Friday afternoons, you know, and at the Zenith, we were 100 kids. And it wasn't so much that my husband loved kids so much. Like, I liked working with kids. It wasn't that he loved it, but he loved this idea of, wow, we can go in the public school system, we can play games and do food and give prizes and do Bible lessons. Like, that sounds really cool. And even to this day, we'll have these teenagers that we don't recognize say, hey, Ms. Arlene, I went to Sunshine Club, you know, in the neighborhood. And so you can find things, when you serve together that. That can be a really, really powerful thing.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: I love it. Because serving is one of those gifts that God gives us that weaves you together with the people you're serving alongside. And if you can find something to serve with your spouse, there. There is a weaving of two becoming one flesh in that serving. That is fantastic. So my question is, say there's a guy listening to this, and he's like, great. I'm in my 40s, and while my wife and I share a dining room table and maybe sleep in the same room, we are more business partners than we are a married couple.
What would you speak to him or to her, the wife heart.
To say, hey, it's not too late. It's not too far gone. Here's some things that maybe you could engage and begin to engage in together. Or here's some conversations that could maybe rekindle what once was a fire and is smoldering right now.
[00:16:54] Speaker D: Yeah, I just. You know, you think of those romantic movies, the old ones say anything, and he's got the boom box over his head, and he's just right. So that's kind of the feeling.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: You're speaking our language right now.
[00:17:04] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: You are speaking our language.
[00:17:05] Speaker D: Yes. That's the man that needs to be like, wait a minute. I love this woman. I'm not gonna just, like, live this way. Like, I'm gonna do something. So I think that that spark that's like, wait, this has become normal. And I don't want this to be normal anymore. And don't wait for a tragedy or a crisis or that and then realize, you know, for my husband, James, We've been married 27 years. He will say, how? And he doesn't do this all the time.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: Right.
[00:17:32] Speaker D: We're not, like, perfect people or anything. But he'll think to himself, what would I do if I was dating Arlene? And so he'll think, oh, I would make a reservation, and I would, like, maybe bring her flowers, or I would open her car door. Like, I'LL be the first one. Like, my husband does not normally open the car door for me. So, you know, but he just says to himself, what would I do? So I think that's a great question. Just, hey, how did I treat her when we were dating?
And how could I recreate that this Friday night? So start there, and then let's say your wife is like, what do you want? You know, she doesn't respond. She doesn't respond in the way you want. You want her to soften and be like, oh, honey, this is just the greatest. And then she also acts how she used to act when you were dating. And so that is the best case scenario, and that's what you're working for. And you know, what if it doesn't work the first date? You just keep doing it over and over and over again. Keep treating her this way and over and over and over again. And most likely, you did not marry, you know, Hitler's cousin. And she's gonna. She's gonna reciprocate. She's gonna be like, she's gonna warm up too. But hopefully. So, women, if you're listening, right, for us, we need to be not so picky and critical. So we think, oh, what do you want? You're treating me this way. What do you want? Like, if you were being all sweet to your husband, you wouldn't want him to say, oh, honey, you want. You want money, don't you? Like, you would be so. So women, we need to also realize, oh, he's trying. Like, let's say he went. You went to a restaurant. You didn't like the restaurant. He got you flowers. You would pick the tulip, and he brought you roses. You know, whatever it is we can get so caught up in. Like, you didn't do it exactly right. And you should know me by now that I like these things. No, that, you know, David Clark, he's a psychologist, he would say, women, you need to praise mediocre. Because when a husband tries something and then the woman is like, she kind of shows like, yeah, that didn't really measure up, buddy. He will stop. Yes, he'll stop doing it. It's like, okay, that I was not successful there. That door is closed. And so for us women listening, we need to be like, wow, that was really great. Thank you so much for that effort. That meant a lot to me. That was awesome. And then for you, husbands just realize we are sometimes very particular and right. Too picky. And you just keep trying, despite the, like, non reaction you're getting from your Wife.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Well, and so the thing that I talk about in pre marriage counseling is the power of the affirmation from the wife. It is like wind to our sails. Like when the wife just speaks to the husband as specific as possible. Man, I really appreciate this, or I really love this about you.
And we will conquer armies by ourselves if we know that our wife is that wind in our sails, giving us the life and affirming. And I think you're so right. And gentlemen, I would just encourage you, man, don't give up. Like, continue. And don't be afraid to ask a question. Like, post date, say, hey, you know what? This is my. I was trying this. What would you like to do next time? You know, what would you like to have next time? And just had a really good friend of mine say it this way. He goes, gentlemen, once a month, you should be taking your wife on a date. Once a quarter, you should be getting away for a weekend. And once every two years, you really need to have an escape. Like, just the two of you. I know it's hard with, but just drop the kids off someplace and have an extended vacation, just the two of you, to go through that awkwardness of, like, okay, there's nothing else we can talk about on the calendar. There's nothing else we need to do business wise. There's no other. We're just gonna be with each other and see what God does with that time, you know, to pursue. And I think what you're talking about is like, gentlemen, never stop pursuing your wife.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:18] Speaker A: And wives, never stop celebrating and breathing life into your husband because he desperately needs it. Yeah, that's a great word.
[00:21:28] Speaker D: Admire.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: Like, yeah, this is so good. Because I. They keep coming up in my mind. Is that a soft answer? Turns away wrath. And so if there's a way that we can just gently begin to serve and even, you know, we were talking about this a couple podcasts ago, but the idea of, like, going and asking the question, honey, how can I serve you better?
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Right?
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Like, hey, I'm challenging myself as a child of God. God, how can I serve you better? And see what she says without. Without offense, without getting well. And, like, don't go with, like, a defensive attitude. I love what you're saying. And then, guys, even now, I mean, this is. This is gold. Like, Arlene, you're throwing out gold here. I love it.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Guys, share this with your spouse. Like, hey, I'm learning something here. I'd love you to check this out. I've learned some really cool stuff from this podcast. Share it with them, right? And just, I mean, have the conversation. Because I think you've been very, very bold on ways that we sound like just, you know, mediocre men going, women, you know, do that. I love what you're saying. This is perfect. So, so keep on going.
[00:22:22] Speaker D: I want to, I want to say something about the serving, because that is one of the decisions in making marriage easier is serve your spouse. And many times when we hear that, we're like, ah, like, do I really? Like, isn't there something else I can do? But to realize, wait a minute, this means, like, look at Jesus. He comes to serve, right? So for women, sometimes we're afraid, like, oh, if I serve my husband, I'm going to be a doormat. I'm going to lose myself, I'm going to lose my identity. He's going to make me do all these things I don't want to. And I love to remind us women, and really, it's for men, too. It's like, wait a minute, but was Jesus a doormat? Did Jesus lose his identity because he was a servant? It's like, no.
So to realize, wait, as I serve my spouse, I am following in Jesus's footsteps. I'm not a doormat. I'm not being manipulated. I am being formed to be more like Christ and to realize that. That I just had Emerson Eggerich on my podcast that I love and respect, and he just talks about, picture Jesus over your spouse's should that even if your spouse doesn't recognize, wow, you're such a great servant. Thanks so much for serving me. That Jesus sees you and, and he's going to say, well done and isn't that interesting? Good and faithful servant, right?
[00:23:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:23:37] Speaker D: So for. This is a tip for you men. What I hear from women a lot is like, I do all this stuff for my husband. I wear the pretty dress and I give the food and I do it. And he doesn't even say thank you or appreciate me. So honestly, this is like over and over and over. So men, if you will just say, like, thank you so much for that. That was delicious. Or it is hard to get the groceries right and to food and like to put this in front of me before it rots in the fridge. Because I tell you what, when I leave my husband alone for a week, I find a lot of rotten food in the fridge. So, you know, you just recognize like, honey, this is good what you've done and I appreciate it. Honey, you look really pretty today. Yes, sweetheart, your face, lovely. You know, just Those little tiny things. It's like it takes you three seconds and. And really look for the sincere things. We're not asking you to be insincere, so be sincere. But it goes a long way, because then that woman, all of a sudden. Now, she cannot accuse you of. I serve you all the time, and you don't even notice. So if you will notice, you take that argument off the table for her.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: And.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: And I would. I would say, gentlemen, the call is, be as specific as possible as you can in that. Thank you. Like to say, hey, you look beautiful today. That's like, oh, thank you. But she's like, what is it? Is it the clothing? Is it the shoes? Is it my hair? Was it the makeup? Be as specific as possible. And the second thing I would say, gentlemen, I would encourage you.
Every guy I know would be willing to do whatever is asked of him.
The key in marriage is to become a proactive servant rather than a reactive. Don't wait for your wife to ask you to get the dishes out of the dishwasher. Be a man who says, I know the dishwasher's just ran. I know that I can. I have two hands, and I can put the dishes away, and I can be proactive in that. And do it before she asks, because I think there's a lot of tension sometimes in that too. Like, he'll do it, but I have to ask him five times to do it. Yeah, just do it the first time. Do it before she even asks, and expect her to see and notice at some point, you know, but don't be.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Frustrated when she doesn't immediately say anything.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Correct. Correct. And then you have to.
[00:25:38] Speaker D: Yeah, and then you have to think five love languages also.
So Dr. Gary Chapman, we've written books together, screen kids, but let's say it's, you know, you're doing all these things, but she's. Words. And, you know, you've unloaded the dishwasher, you've washed the car, you put the kids to bed. You're like, are you kidding me? Like, that is. I don't know. And she's just like, you don't love me. So. So do. It is worth it to take that free quiz at 5 Love Languages and Kind of get the feel of, what does your spouse want? And. And then you're like, oh, good, I don't have to do the dishwasher. I just have to talk to you. So. So kind of get that dialed in as well.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: Y.
I love it. Creating space. Serving to create space to connect. I love that.
We have a big thing coming up. Marriage Week. Talk to us a little bit about Marriage Week. What's your heart there? What are some of the things and events and how can we looking for that, more importantly, helping promote that.
[00:26:30] Speaker D: Awesome. It's every year from February 7th to 14th, so it's real easy the week leading up to Valentine's Day. And just think when there's like National Ice Cream Day, it's like go enjoy ice cream, right? So National Marriage Week. It's that same thing. Like a campaign to say, say marriage is good, let's project it as good by having good marriages. Let's celebrate marriage. Let's work together to shift the culture's narrative of like, yeah, marriage is old fashioned. It's not really needed to like, wait a minute, no, statistically marriage is going to make you happier. You're going to have a less, less chance of poverty. You're going, you know, all those things. It's better for kids to grow up with two parents, all these things. So be a champion for marriage. And then when you go to marriageweek.org you can be equipped yourself. So there's live streams every night starting on February 7th, helping you. Whether it's like learning how to differences or how to leave a legacy, which is very much what you guys are all about, how to still be individuals within the marriage. All those types of topics will be dealt with by experts like Jim burns, Shanti Feldhahn, Dr. Lesson, Leslie Parrott. It's going to be great. It's free. So all you have to do is sign
[email protected] you can watch it right then or you can watch it later and then, you know, it's a place for marriage leaders, clergy, community to say, hey, let's have a community date night or a church. Like let's host a date night during marriage week. So these are all things this year, next year and beyond. Hey, let's support marriage Week. Let's do something for marriages during marriage Week.
[00:28:03] Speaker A: And gentlemen, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call this out here. We have a bad habit of allowing our wives to watch those videos and then giving us the report. Report on the videos, engage, sit down like it's a Hallmark movie and watch with her and experience it alongside her, not get the report from her. Is that fair? It's exactly calling us out.
[00:28:24] Speaker D: This, this really funny.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: This podcast launches Thursday of Marriage Week. And so what you guys are going to do is some of these are going to be already recorded. Go back and watch those. We will put the Link in the bottom of this podcast so you guys can check it out.
[00:28:37] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: But even though it's the 7th through the. The through, like the 14th, we're going to give you permission. You can do Marriage Week every week.
[00:28:43] Speaker D: If you want to, whenever you want.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: Whenever you want it. Whenever we're giving you permission, but.
[00:28:47] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: Arlene, this has been great, and we want to. We want to have you back on, because I really feel like I need you to say more to the women. Yes. That we can't say.
[00:28:55] Speaker D: That's why this is. That's awesome. I love that I do have something for the women. My husband is. Is physical touch. That's, you know, his first love language. Physical touch.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: Of course, as many are past.
[00:29:06] Speaker D: That's how it works. Right? So while he is watching something, you know, I'll, like, tickle his feet and I'll, like, massage his hand. So, women, while you're watching your National Marriage Week videos about how to have a happier marriage, you can be, like, rubbing his shoulders, like, sit close to him, like, snuggle up to him and. And maybe feed him Cheetos, and maybe he'll like that better.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: You are. You are speaking my love language. And Tara, if you start tickling my.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Feet, Tara's gonna be like, why did I get a text from Arlene?
What's going on here?
[00:29:40] Speaker A: That is fantastic.
And I think the heart of it is, like, getting a few years under you in the marriage. You lose the playfulness.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: And to reengage in the playfulness, whether it be dating, re. Engage in the playfulness. Watching a movie. And gentlemen, I'm just gonna tell you, it doesn't always need to lead to sexual.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Like, sometimes just be playful for the sake of being playful and let that be enough.
[00:30:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: Because I think that's part of the heart of the woman is, like, if I do this, he's gonna expect something automatically gonna. Automatically. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Tonight we're just gonna be playful, you know, and just. That has to be enough. Like, we have to get to the point where that is enough and correct. And we celebrate and rejoice in that.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: You know, I remember someone saying that success in marriage is believing that both sides of the party got a better end of the dec.
Oh. And so I love this idea of, like, man, if we can get back to that point where we look at our spouse and just go, thank you. But honestly, like, look at him. Like, wow, out of all the people in the world you chose me.
You deserve better than me.
Like, what did I do? And then I look at you and go, dang, why? Like. Like, there's days I wake up, I'm like, oh, you're still here.
Thank you. You know, and so, I mean, when you marry out of your league, which we are a part of, the marry out of our league club.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Yes, we are.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: Not you. Your husband definitely married way up, so don't you worry.
[00:30:55] Speaker D: But I'll be thinking about that, about him.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: Good, good, good. But. But I mean, so I think if we walk in that kind of heart again with that servant's heart, wanting to connect, man, this has been life giving.
[00:31:06] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: Thank you so much for your faithfulness and I love it. As you were talking the beginning, we have a lot of different people doing a lot of different, different ministries. And it's made me so thankful for the body of Christ that says, you see your calling for what you're doing and it's. It's valuable. And so, man, if we do just all did our part and imagine if we did that with our spouses, to come alive to who God called us to be is a beautiful thing. So thank you for your faithfulness and, man, before we. Before we finish, Arlene, we have this segment called Fast 5 that we would.
[00:31:37] Speaker D: Love to hear your sound effect and everything. You guys are so cool.
[00:31:41] Speaker B: Well, it's my add. These guys love me.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: I don't know if it's cool, but.
[00:31:45] Speaker D: I not encourage this.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: I appreciate you.
[00:31:49] Speaker D: I like it.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Giving the example of what a loving wife would do. Oh, that's wonderful, sweetheart.
[00:31:55] Speaker D: Very good sound. I like this sound. This is good. That takes work. You could have just skipped it, but now you gotta.
[00:31:59] Speaker B: I did it. We just committed. We just committed. I still think my favorite part of this whole thing is finding out is the Hitler's cousin comment. It's probably my favorite so far. I love that, Arlene.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: So I'm gonna use that with Tara. Tara, thank you for not being Hitler.
[00:32:12] Speaker B: Not being Hitler's cousin.
She's like, wait a minute, hang on a second. There's some.
Anyways, anyway, so number one, if you could tell people to go support a cause or a ministry, what would it be and why?
[00:32:23] Speaker D: Okay, this is a hard one because there are many. But I'm going to pick Turning Point with David, Jeremiah, because such a good Bible teacher. I worked there before I became a mom and author and all these kinds of things and just love their ministry Bible strong. It just helps so many people in so many ways.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: So I Love this.
[00:32:41] Speaker D: And they're faithful. They're so faithful. Yeah, exactly.
[00:32:45] Speaker B: You're turning point. You're turning. This could be you. Sorry. We used to watch.
[00:32:50] Speaker D: This is really going to help people to want to get.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: They're like, what is going on? So I love David, Jeremiah's stuff, Shadow Mountain, all that kind of stuff. Great, great, great place. So awesome. Thank you for letting me and my ADD kick in a one more time.
[00:33:03] Speaker D: That was good.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: Awesome. So if you could describe legacy with a word or a phrase, what would you be.
[00:33:10] Speaker D: To every generation or. Or the. The idea of, like, you know what? Let me do this. Three generations.
So in your legacy, you have. You. You have your child, you have your grandchild. If you're super fit, maybe you get a fourth one.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: I'm not sure.
[00:33:24] Speaker D: I'm going to say three generations. You being really proactive, really responsible to say, I want as best as I can to transmit faith from one. Three for three generations.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Oh, fantastic.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: That's awesome. I love it.
[00:33:38] Speaker D: I got that from David Green, so I can't. I. He's hobby lobby founder, and I heard him say that, and I was like, I like that. I'm gonna think that.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:33:47] Speaker B: There's nothing new under the sun, so he probably got it from Jesus. So it's okay.
[00:33:49] Speaker D: You can. That's right. It's fine.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: It's okay. All right. If you had to change careers, what would you change it to?
[00:33:55] Speaker D: You know, I'm so blessed I get to do this because I actually love, love, love my career. If I change it, I would be like a children's.
Like TV, like Mr. Rogers, but like a girl.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:34:06] Speaker D: I would host some kind of kids show and I would talk to the kids. I'd be Arlene Jelly Bean because that's what I am at Vacation Bible.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: That's awesome.
[00:34:15] Speaker D: And I would tell stories. That's. That's what I would do.
[00:34:17] Speaker B: That's pretty cool.
[00:34:18] Speaker D: I love it.
[00:34:18] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: Wait, I. I don't want to. How have we not called her Arlene the Jelly Bean until this point?
[00:34:24] Speaker B: I'm a little bit offended.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: From this point on, it's Arlene the Jelly Bean.
[00:34:27] Speaker D: Really? Actually, you would be the first podcast of all time to have asked such a question that I would reveal such a thing. So you are actually the first podcast I know on record that knows me as our leader.
[00:34:39] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:34:39] Speaker A: That's fantastic.
[00:34:40] Speaker B: Okay, Mrs. Jelly Bean number four.
This one actually fits with Arlene Jelly Bean.
What is your go to fruit? If you had to pick One banana.
[00:34:51] Speaker D: That is the best thing for moms. You don't have to wrap it. You don't have to cut it. You just hand it to your kid and they eat it. It's awesome. I love bananas.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: Awesome. That's awesome. And you're thinking about somebody else. You never think about your fruit. You're, like, helping somebody. I love it.
[00:35:05] Speaker A: That's it.
[00:35:05] Speaker B: That is a mom to a team.
[00:35:07] Speaker D: I also. I also do love for myself.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: Just bananas are your thing. But, but, but, but, but I love it.
[00:35:13] Speaker D: It's like peanut butter if I'm feeling special. Peanut butter. Yes.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: Hallelujah. With some peanut butter.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: So bougie.
[00:35:19] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: So bougie.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: That's awesome. Awesome. See, because we're still thinking we could just have a spoon and peanut butter, and we're fine.
[00:35:24] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: And then we would put it back. We'd actually put it back just the way it is. We're good. So anyways, we're terrible.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:30] Speaker D: You're the one eating out of there, so why not?
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Why not? Why not? All right, number five, what do you want to be remembered by? For those closest to you?
[00:35:39] Speaker D: I think maybe, like, for my husband, my kids, to be like, she was our greatest cheerleader. I think that would be really nice.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: That's all awesome. I love it. I love it. Well, this has been a great day, Arlene, Like I said, we are going to put your links in the bottom. Guys and gals, National Marriage Week. It is coming out. While you're hearing this, National Marriage Week is going on.
[00:35:59] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:35:59] Speaker B: Check out the link below. Click it. You have the time. Because we have a lot more time on hands than we actually make credit that we do. Take the time because it's worth investing in your marriage.
So take the time to do. Arlene, thank you so much for your faithfulness. We are grateful for you.
[00:36:14] Speaker D: It's been so much fun, Bill. Thank you, Trav.
[00:36:17] Speaker B: This has been great.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: Ms. Jelly Bean, you've been fantastic.
[00:36:20] Speaker D: Thank you. It's been so much fun. If every podcast could be this fun, how wonderful. Oh, you guys do such a great job.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: Well, when you have a low IQ like us, it makes it really easy. And so we just like pretty colors.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: Desperately trying to find out more information and pretend to be smarter than we are.
[00:36:35] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:36:36] Speaker A: That's the call of most husbands.
[00:36:37] Speaker B: That's the call of most husbands. You know, guys, thank you so much for being a part of today's podcast. Make sure you check it out. Out, man. Do us a favor. Share this with someone. Follow us. And, man, share this with some friends. Follow us on Instagram at Known Legacy. Yeah. Anything else?
[00:36:52] Speaker A: God bless you guys.
[00:36:53] Speaker B: Have a great week, everybody.
[00:36:55] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to the Known Legacy podcast. We'd love to hear from you.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: So email us your questions or comments to Infonolegacy.
