[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're listening to the Known Legacy podcast brought to you by Known Legacy Ministries. For more information, go to knownlegacy.org now here's your hosts, Bill and Travis.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Top of the morning, Toyo.
[00:00:15] Speaker C: Good morning, Bill. That was a little hot. That was. That was fantastic.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: Yeah, everyone's like,
[00:00:20] Speaker C: good morning. Welcome
[00:00:21] Speaker B: to
[00:00:21] Speaker C: Gnome Legacy.
Welcome. How you doing, Bill?
[00:00:24] Speaker B: I'm doing great. Good morning everybody. Want to help you wake up, gear up and come alive to who God called you to become. We are so excited that you chose to press the button today to listen to us. And
[00:00:35] Speaker C: I'm excited about our conversation with Jeff today and his passion and heart for men and for fathers. And so I know you are in for a great podcast, everyone. As always, you can check us out on YouTube. You can find us on Netflix. Netflix, Instagram. How about Instagram and Facebook and you know, if you like it, man, if you could give us a rating, that'd be fantastic. If you could share it with your friends and family, that'd be amazing.
If you want to go over to known legacy.org and make a donation, support the mission and ministry of what Bill and I are doing, we'd always appreciate that. And Bill, there's a lot of things you are doing, so
[00:01:11] Speaker B: why don't you update Fun fact though. We are actually on a network called obbm, just so you know. And we are. Yeah, I don't know if I ever told you that. So you get the first time here? No.
[00:01:19] Speaker C: What is obb?
[00:01:20] Speaker B: It is a. A free streaming network that has. That's added our show.
[00:01:25] Speaker C: Really?
[00:01:26] Speaker B: And so yeah, you can check us out there as well. So fun fact for you, we can put the link there somewhere to figure it out. But if you're already watching it, well then you're already watching it. So we're good. But you can share with your friends. Yeah. So super grateful to have you guys on today. Want to know about a couple things that are going on on the continuation of our days that made absolutely no sense. But you know, you get it, man. We. We do our Thursday morning adrenaline shot. We'd love to have you on at 6:45 in the morning. We'd love you to join us. We'll put the link below. It's a great way for men to connect. It's on the phone and so sometimes you're like, man, how do I do this? As you're driving to work, it's a great thing to do. You don't have to really join in if you don't. If you don't want to when it comes to reading the Bible or whatever. But if you just want to be encouraged. Every week we have a community guys we want to add you to. So I'd love to have you be a part of that as well as we also have our.
What else we got going on?
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Well, you have your Bible study,
[00:02:19] Speaker B: we have our Bible study. And then we also have our. I forget what else we have. I'm so lost today. Welcome back, guys.
[00:02:26] Speaker C: Just so everyone knows, we're recording this in the, in the week of a full moon red ribbon week at school as well as Halloween just around the corner. And so
[00:02:33] Speaker B: no, it's been a go, go, go. It's been a really busy season.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: It has been. And my wife, who's a teacher, she just comes home like a zombie every day. She's like, these kids are out of control. These kids are out of control.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: So we have some other awesome things for you to be a part of.
[00:02:45] Speaker C: The Facebook group, the brotherhood Facebook group. You
[00:02:47] Speaker B: can join in
[00:02:47] Speaker C: as well as the. The. If you are looking for an excitement or maybe to wake up into your Bible study, there's a seven day Bible study that you offer,
[00:02:55] Speaker B: correct? Yes. We also have a wake up guide and seven day reset. I need to wake up guide myself. No. We are so excited. Yeah. If you're in a part of your journey where you're like, I want to know where I'm at.
Great. I know. I want to. I want to. I want to know where I'm at and what kind of. In this journey. We have a wake up guide and seven day reset that is free for you to download. The links will be provided below as well as more than you book. We'd love you guys to pick one of those up. All those links are provided below in the session notes and would love you guys to check those out. We just want you to understand how valuable you are as a child of God and what God wants to do in and through you. And so that's why we provide these resources to you. So guys, thanks for being a part of it. I'm out today.
[00:03:35] Speaker C: In other news, we're looking for a new co host. If you happen to
[email protected] you can submit your. No, I'm just
[00:03:41] Speaker B: now available on Netflix.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: Hey, question of the day.
[00:03:44] Speaker B: Question of the day.
[00:03:46] Speaker C: Okay, so I guarantee all of us have had some TV show when we were growing up as kids or a movie or something that we watched that still to this day kind of scars us. It was, it was a little bit too scary for Us, maybe at the time. And I would love to know what, what that for you guys. So, Bill, you got something over there?
[00:04:06] Speaker B: Yeah, when the president was on. It's just. No, I'm just kidding.
I think for me, I, I, I might have talked about before, but it was. Any of the Jason movies
[00:04:15] Speaker C: you, you were allowed to watch?
[00:04:16] Speaker B: No, no, I wasn't allowed to watch them, but I'd go to a friend's house. Of
[00:04:19] Speaker C: course, it's always a friend's house.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: And it was like, it was scary. So Jason and then the Halloween movies, I only saw, like, one. One or two. I think I saw the one where, like, she, like, cuts his head off eventually or whatever, because I hated horror movies as a kid. But you would go to a friend's house, like, hey, we're gonna watch this movie. I'm like, oh, that's cool. No problem. Like, I'll watch it. And then you're trying to be tough because your bro.
[00:04:40] Speaker C: Cards on the line.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And the girls are there, and they're all like. The guys are like, oh, this isn't a big deal. And I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal. I'm not scared at all. And I remember clearly being afraid of every single shadow from that point on.
[00:04:52] Speaker C: Gosh,
[00:04:53] Speaker B: Especially in the fall. It was like. I mean, I love the fall, but then it was like the shadows would cast differently, and you're like. And that's like. Like that cold chill on you. Yeah. Yeah. You, man. What about
[00:05:02] Speaker C: you? So I have a plethora of things that scarred me as a young child. One of them was this weird. I don't know the name of it. It's not arachnophobia, though. That is one that terrified me in high school.
That was a wild movie. It was some weird Australian show that was on, like, broadcast tv, and this town was being attacked by spiders, and they were coming through, like, the air vents, and they're like
[00:05:24] Speaker B: a real movie. Or was it like a. It's
[00:05:26] Speaker C: not a documentary. It wasn't a documentary, though. Australia, you would think it was. I
[00:05:29] Speaker B: would think so. I'm like, is this real?
[00:05:30] Speaker C: But I remember the movie ends and, like, this entire town has covered in a speller web. And I just, Ever since then, I've been terrified of spiders. Another one that absolutely got me was I was a Nightmare on Elm street guy.
And that one just tapped into so many of those fears. Like, if I go to sleep, and I remember I would try to stay awake and. Oh, hated those movies. Absolutely scarred by them. I still don't sleep to this day for that reason.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: Freddy was a scary man.
[00:05:55] Speaker C: Yeah, scary, scary man. How about you, Kyle, our producer in the corner?
[00:05:59] Speaker D: So I'll give you two.
First one is the Shining.
And I couldn't go in the bathroom without the shower curtain being
[00:06:10] Speaker C: open. Yes, yes.
[00:06:11] Speaker D: No, it was closed.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Oh, closed. Oh. And
[00:06:12] Speaker D: I
[00:06:13] Speaker C: didn't make sure there's nothing
[00:06:14] Speaker D: and I couldn't open it to check that it was empty.
The second one was real life, man. We went on this vacation, Smoky Mountains when I lived in Ohio and we got to the friend's house. Yeah, I remember how old I was, but my parents just plopped us all in front of a TV and turned it on and it was.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: Parenting in the 80s was fantastic.
[00:06:34] Speaker D: It was Helter Skelter.
[00:06:35] Speaker C: What?
[00:06:36] Speaker B: I've never seen that one.
[00:06:37] Speaker D: And it's about Charles Manson.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Oh, good gracious.
[00:06:40] Speaker D: So it's
[00:06:40] Speaker B: real.
[00:06:40] Speaker D: Oh, that scared the bejesus out of me. Oh yeah. I mean that left deep scars on me. So that was it.
[00:06:46] Speaker C: So another one. Disney tried to get into this, this thing and one of the movies that came out with in the early 80s was something wicked this Way comes I.
If you try to
[00:06:57] Speaker B: stray away from the.
[00:06:57] Speaker C: But dude, as a kid I just remember it was terrifying. So this year I went back and watched it and not nearly as terrifying because I'm a 50 plus year old man and I don't get scared anymore except for when the bills show up. But anyway,
[00:07:11] Speaker B: bills, mortgages,
[00:07:14] Speaker C: kids in college, nothing scares
[00:07:15] Speaker B: me. Scary there.
[00:07:16] Speaker C: But no, it was. I convinced my kids to watch it and I fell asleep and they all said it was really good. Even though you snored through the whole thing. I was like, thanks.
Love you guys.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah, so it is Halloween had just happened so but when we record this, Halloween's coming up. But man, by the time this comes out, Halloween had just come out and so yeah, it's definitely an interesting. Yeah, I don't like those movies anymore. I like, I'll stick with like Beetlejuice, you know, I'm saying like I'm good with that, you know and so.
But all those. But man. Our. I would love to hear what our guest has to say about this. Jeff Zog from Dad awesome is on. Jeff, so grateful to have you on today.
[00:07:54] Speaker E: Thank you guys. Thanks for having me. And I physically am responding to your stories. I'm like, physically I'm feeling a spiderweb kind of like pull me in tight right now. And I, I did not.
Horror movies like we know and like it was like. But Thriller Joyride. You remember this? Like a Mac truck, Like a semi truck driver Joyride.
[00:08:17] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:08:17] Speaker E: Sketchy hotels and joyride. It was just like, I remember like headlights, mega headlights behind us. You know, a big truck in Texas. I think it was
[00:08:25] Speaker C: a Stephen King book originally.
[00:08:29] Speaker E: I feel like my heartbeat is changing right now just from mentioning the maximum
[00:08:32] Speaker D: overdrive.
[00:08:33] Speaker E: Right.
[00:08:33] Speaker C: That's what.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Oh, so. Oh, yeah. No,
[00:08:36] Speaker C: no going back to the spider thing. Like, I now understand why, like, when I see a spider, I. My fight or flight kicks in and my fight comes out and I become the most violent man you will ever see. I will kill everything within a five foot radius of that spider. You know, and when you. When you go to kill the spider and you don't realize all the baby spiders are on the back. And so it just scurries the baby spiders. Yes. Dude, I've emptied a can of bee killer because it's the only thing I could find on a spider because it had babies. And I just. I remember emptying the can. I had to vacate the house because I had fumigated the whole house from this one can. It was. I hate them, you know, Hate that.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: So when I was. I don't know why you remember Spider Man. Like, I know Superman 2 and it's like, so. Yeah, so. So this is the reference I think about whenever I kill a spider. And in that movie, the Girls Girls, he was just a boy and she's like, he'll never be a man. It's everything I kills my. He'll never be a man. Take that.
I've just killed 4 million spiders.
[00:09:30] Speaker E: Quick tip. Shop, shop back. A Shop Vac for spiders. I am a huge fan because it just avoids the chance that you're gonna kill or partially kill or slip away. I just like. And then just, you know, dump it out in the yard and then stomp on it out there like we shot. Shop Vac is my
[00:09:45] Speaker B: genius.
[00:09:46] Speaker C: Shop vac.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: Shop Vac. You learned your fun fact for the day, everybody.
[00:09:50] Speaker C: That's a hack.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Yeah,
[00:09:53] Speaker C: or just burn the house down. You know, you can either do a shop Vac or just
[00:09:57] Speaker E: absolutely
[00:09:58] Speaker C: burn whatever
[00:09:59] Speaker B: you have on hand. You know, whatever you have. Shop bag or a flamethrower.
[00:10:01] Speaker C: You know what? You're a grown adult. You can make these decisions for yourself. I'm sure the insurance agent will totally understand what's going on.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: I get it. We'll pay the premium. We're good.
[00:10:10] Speaker C: We'll build you a new house.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: Exactly. We got it. Well, Jeff, we're so, so excited to have you on today, man. And you know, as I found these guys, when I had a great conversation with you, I was like, I gotta get man you on the podcast and share with our listeners everything you're doing. So, Jeff, share a little bit about yourself, share about your ministry and what God is doing through that.
[00:10:27] Speaker E: Yeah, thank you again for having me. And so a few things about me. I've been married to my wife Michelle for 20 years.
I could share story after story, but she kind of empowered, allowed, supported. We lived in an RV for three years with this ministry and she's like, that just gives you a glimpse of my wife. She's like, she was for the adventure she's been for chase the dreams that God has put on your heart. And so, yeah, we're celebrating. We just celebrated a few months ago, 20 years. But we have four daughters age, ages 13. So I just, as of two weeks ago, I have a teenager in the house.
Enjoy the ride. It's. It is a ride. It's a ride. And I'm, I am loving this chapter. I am. And then my, our youngest is five, so that I won't mention all their names and ages, but that, that's our window of fun as a family. And, and yeah, from the upper Midwest, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, kind of lived in all those states, but we hit the road in the RV and God kind of shifted and pulled our family toward. Now we live in Northeast Florida. So we live in Flagler Beach, Florida, a little, little surf town in Florida. We've lived here three years now. So, yeah, it feels like we're a beach family officially now. It's been three years.
[00:11:35] Speaker C: That is awesome.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: Wow. That's amazing. That's amazing. And it's all. You have all daughters right now.
[00:11:40] Speaker E: That's it. Yep. So girl dad times four. And when we lived, when we lived in an RV those years, we always like, I'm a tall dude. I'm 6ft 7 inches tall. So one daughter's on my shoulders at one daughter on my back. And I'm walking through the RV park and people stop. They're like, are you gonna try for a boy? Like, what the heck? Four girls and I. My response is it's always the same. It's like, I love, like, what a gift that I get to be a girl dad. And I've got four boys coming and I pray for those four boys coming. It's just going to be, you know, hopefully a few years out. Hopefully we're a little.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Let's hope we have fears out. That's how it goes, man. That's awesome. I love that perspective. I love it. I love it. So, okay, so you. Okay, rv, let's move back to the rv. What was God doing in your life before you decided to start this?
[00:12:26] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:12:26] Speaker E: Yeah. So three years before we borrowed an RV initially, our first trip, 5,000 mile trip, was in a borrowed RV as a family with a two month old baby was the borrowed trip.
So we, we began with a group of friends, launched this fatherhood ministry called dad awesome nine years ago. So nine years ago we start this little experiment. We're helping dads be awesome dads. And our focus is heart level fatherhood. The hearts of fathers turning toward heaven to receive the love of the father. And then the hearts of fathers turning toward home, pursuing the hearts of their kids, their family, their wife. And so we do heart level work at dad awesome. But it was supposed to be a 10 week experiment turned into today we launched episode 458. So we're nine years into this weekly experiment of a weekly podcast. It's become a book, it's become coaching content, it's become challenges that we've hosted all over the country. But that's why we hit the road in the RV was we were doing these 100 mile bike rides, these challenges.
Awesome. And we, we had invitations all over the country and instead of me flying away from my little girls and my wife to go do fatherhood.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: Right.
[00:13:34] Speaker E: We said let's, let's just run another experiment and try borrowing an rv. So we tried it and then we eventually bought an rv, rented our house, hit the road, and three years later, we're still, we're still traveling.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: That's awesome. So question. If you've been doing this nine years, you've probably experienced some of the shifts that we're experiencing. Your culture, particularly as it exposes or it reveals itself in the heart of dads. What are you noticing today?
That the heart of man really needs to wrestle with and kind of lock in so they can be the dad that God's called them, gifted them and is encouraging them to become.
[00:14:08] Speaker E: Yeah, I mean, one, I had a call yesterday with a dad in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, the capital of Honduras. And this, this father shared a little bit about locally what's true in Honduras, but it's true in the United States. It's true everywhere. And there's a lack of a vision for fatherhood. There are, there's pain that came upstream that we experienced and then there's also, there's just like, you know, the marriage rates going down, less kids, less, more people who have experienced pain from their own father or lacked a father. I mean we are the number one nation of 130 developed nations. The United States is, leads the list for fatherlessness. Right. So we are crazy. It's, it's tragic. And so, so less young men have a vision for fatherhood. If you don't have a vision for something, you're not going to invest, you're not going to train yourself, you're not going to prepare, you're not going to pray into. So, so that is a shift that I've seen even in the last, in this decade is like there's less men with a vision for fatherhood. And so that's part of why you guys exist, why we're championing, we're cheering for a turn there.
[00:15:15] Speaker C: So paint for me that vision that you see for fathers and how it's impacted the guys that you've had a chance to journey with over the years.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: Like
[00:15:21] Speaker C: what is
[00:15:22] Speaker B: that
[00:15:22] Speaker C: vision?
[00:15:23] Speaker E: So any good movie has, has a story arc, right? As a story arc and a movie usually anchors back in time and then there's the present day and then there's the journey. There's usually a dip and painful sacrifice and there's risk and then there's, then there's a, a pinnacle moment and then anyways, there's these moments. I won't explain all the ins and outs because I've never directed a movie or a film but the. We know
[00:15:45] Speaker C: a
[00:15:45] Speaker E: guy. Yeah. A good, good. A good story though is filled with peaks and valleys. Yeah. And what we need to understand as dads, all of us men, family, is that we're a part of a bigger multi generational story. And our current chapter, the dashboard, the dad dashboard tells me almost every day if I look at the present chapter, it tells me that I'm failing my current story because I've never done it before. I've never had a 13 year old, I've never. My current dashboard of fatherhood says man, I don't have any idea if the inputs are actually bringing what I hope for because it's a really limited view. So expanding our perspective to the bigger story we can see all through the Bible this narrative of multi generational stories of God's faithfulness we can see in our own family. I look back to my grandpa, my dad again, my dad and my father in law. Like the dad's upstream for me. There's all kinds of peaks and valleys and pain and misses because they're imperfect just like I am. But if I can anchor back to, well, God was faithful then and he got us through that valley and he got us through this valley and he got us through this like, and then have a vision for the future of imagining, like I just did, my four son in laws someday and imagining myself with my wife when we celebrate 50 years of marriage and instead of just being locked into the present. So that's a huge part of having a vision for fatherhood and hopefulness for dads is understanding there's a bigger story at play and today's faithfulness matters. One of my mentors says, live in the day, measure in the decade. It's like we have to, we have to pan out. We have to pan out our measurements and our feedback loops and our metrics for success.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Man, I love it.
The dovetailing of our ministries and the idea of, you know, I always think about Joseph and Potiphar's wife. We've talked about a lot on here and so it could be mundane, but the idea of him looking at Potiphar's wife and going, I have a choice of either the moment or God's got all this for me. And I think most guys that you bump into, I'm guessing are going, I've got today, I'm just going to do it. And I love that you're giving them a vision where there's no vision, people will be, they will perish. But I think we think about it in the terms of a business or inside a church, but never in our, in our family. Correct. What is God calling us to? So what are some tangible actions you take to help men produce that kind of vision in their life?
[00:18:06] Speaker E: Yeah, one of the tangibles is just like looking upstream to what's causing my heart to be where my heart's at today. There's upstream things that we can do in practices.
So one of those practices is every month I take a day and try to disconnect from screens, disconnect from producing and look back at my photos and my phone and my calendar and make a list of gratitude. I try to like look back and then I try to look forward with what are some of the things we're praying into decision points. What are some of the anchor things we're committing to? So just having this 12 times per year and do I do it every month? No, I miss two or three months a year. That's all
[00:18:44] Speaker B: right.
[00:18:44] Speaker E: But I try to monthly take a pause prayer day to help give me perspectives. That'd be an Example of an upstream. Upstream. Right now I'm actually with some friends we're reading through, we've got some shared Bible reading plans and we're going back and forth and we're looking for two things.
Discoveries around my heart turning toward heaven
[00:19:04] Speaker B: and
[00:19:04] Speaker E: discoveries around my heart turning toward my family and pursuing my family. What are promises in God's word? What are, what are guidance, Wisdom from God's word. So, so I upstream what's, what's fueling me and I use the waterfall metaphor here of if a dad, if I will take a hike to the waterfall of God's love
[00:19:22] Speaker B: getting
[00:19:22] Speaker E: soaking wet, then even imperfectly, like a soaking wet dad with the love of God can be really imperfect. Mess, fail, try again, get up, apologize. And my kids, they, they're going to feel the effects of a dad who's soaking wet with God's love. So that's an example of some practices. And you guys could guess all these things, right? Spiritual disciplines, practices, friendship building friendship. Having guys that can speak week into my life. Guys that I can bring anything that's dark or hidden to the light.
But then there's practices on turning my heart toward home that are just real practical. And one of them is I am taking my girls on daddy dates.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Yes,
[00:19:58] Speaker E: kindergarten. So our five year old is in kindergarten right now. She gets her kinder date which is a full day with dad. I get a full day kindergarten and we end that full day with each of our girls. We've done this. So it's my last, my last chance. I will wash my daughter's feet.
This kinder date and not many such
[00:20:18] Speaker C: a bad dad.
[00:20:19] Speaker E: It's, it's copying, it's not original. I'm copying this. Like, you know, let's, let's display the love of Christ through like washing feet and like the posture of down low, right? Prayerful on my knees, the father I do with my wife. So it's, it's, we do it together. But that's coming in two weeks. I've got my kinder date scheduled on Wednesday.
So these are examples of like practices. A practice is Bible Brecci for us.
And as I'm sharing these practices and I lead a organization called dad awesome, some people are going to be like, let's just tune this out. This guy is too positive, too full of energy. Not at all. These are examples of practices that have emerged from nine years of interview. Nine years of interviews. And if I could just go back in time for a quick moment when this ministry started nine years ago, I'd Never read a book on fatherhood. I'd never listened to a podcast. I'd never sat with a mentor and a piece of paper and said, hey, teach me about being a dad. I'd never been a part of a small group on fatherhood. I had, in four years of fatherhood, zero intentional inputs of spending time and money and pursuit of growing in the area of being a dad. So I have chosen. That's one thing I've just changed is I am learning, I am growing. I do a weekly, I'm interviewing people every single week. I am going to learn and grow, read, pursue, pay for coaching because I care deeply and I see that. I mean truly my legacy, my what matters most when I'm 84 years old, hopefully, maybe I live that long, maybe not, is, is, is these four girls and their future marriages and their future kids. Like, that's what matters most is what I
[00:21:55] Speaker B: see
[00:21:55] Speaker E: into a deposit. So, so anyway, I'm trying to calibrate that. So some of these practices, I mean, I light a candle and pray over my girls.
This is about a monthly cadence. And I take one girl at a time and pray just words of life. And I tell them about me treasuring them and tell them about their beauty inside and out. And tell them I, I speak life over them of the courage that I saw in them two weeks ago. And I speak life about, like, the kindness I saw them bring to a friend. And so I try to use my words as one of the practices
[00:22:24] Speaker C: so powerful
[00:22:25] Speaker E: of connecting with their hearts. And then maybe the last one I'll share is just the apology when I apologize.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah,
[00:22:31] Speaker E: often, pretty often I would say I am dad. I, I, I display being dad angry instead of dad awesome or dad I dad average. I'm just like, I'm, I'm tuned out. I'm not really focused. I'm dad. Like, I'm just, I, I'm not the dad I want to be. I, I come and apologize to them and my apology ripples to my ripples into their hearts, into their sister's hearts because their sister saw where dad messed up too. It marriage. My wife sees a husband, a father who's apologizing, who's choosing the humble path. So the apology is the superpower of connection and like warmth in our family is, is dad just keep apologizing.
Sorry.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: And I think a few things that are striking me, number one is intentionality. Intentionality, intentionality. And I think that's where guys kind of can, can thrive. Right. If we come up with a plan, we can Execute that plan, and we can make adjustments along the way to execute the plan. And most of us are not living with a plan. We're living with our past. And so we're just replicating what was replicated for us. And most of us did not have a great dad experience.
And so what you're inviting us to is like, hey, with intentionality, it's going to look different for every dad and every family in every situation, but have a plan, you know? Yeah. And I think in a lot of ways, you. The secret sauce of this whole thing is start with that apology.
Start with the apology. Like. Like, and just start to weave that into your relationship with your spouse. Begin to weave that into the relationship with your kids. And that intentionality of, like, I gotta own when I'm. When I'm wrong, when I'm disconnected, when I'm distracted, I gotta own that, and I gotta lean into that, because that gives them freedom then to be able to start and deepen that relationship, to come to me and say, hey, dad, that really hurt when you did that. Like, I had one the.
This summer, I had a horrible fail moment as a dad with my daughter. Right.
We were in the car and we had this intense conversation, and I think I drove about six hours and didn't say a word the entire time after that conversation. Right. So I just didn't say anything. And it was afterwards, I'm like, wait a second. That was my bad going back and reconciling. And now my daughter and I have this amazing relationship, and I'm helping her understand her upstream stuff that's influencing her, her doubts, her, scared her, all of these things. And it's allowing her now to put the silence, the maybe monster, maybe all the things that might happen. And to be able to step into, like, right now, this is the moment. This is what I control. Let me take that bull by the horns, so to speak. And so I think the secret sauce is, dude, if you have. If you hear nothing else from this podcast, hear the power of the apology. Yeah. And just having that posture of humility because we as dads feel like we need to have. Fix everything, know everything, and, you know, protect everything, and we fail at it. And we got to own that and be able to have those conversations.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: Yeah. We're not the white knight. No. Jesus is the white knight. Yes. And I think. I think, you know, you say it perfect, Jeff, but, you know, we can either speak life or death.
[00:25:33] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: In every moment. There's not a third option. It's like life or death. So I think a lot of guys are like, this is too. I've screwed up so long, I'm like, no, just start speaking life now. And that could start with an apology. That is life. Hey, I've been an idiot for eight years.
I'm sorry, let's move on. And I love that you're choosing to speak life and you're helping guys speak life into that. Like you said earlier, right now in America, the statistic and tell me if I'm wrong, But I think 25% of households in America are fatherless.
[00:26:02] Speaker C: Oh, I'd say it's probably more, but yeah,
[00:26:04] Speaker B: but no but then you've got dads who come in and are distant and that's over 50% of the population of the dads who are like, I'm providing. I'm doing this, but I'm. But I'm not present. And in fact, I almost it hear me in all graciousness. It's almost like the ones whose dads aren't there have been wounded and they're done, but the other ones are continuously getting wounded by their dads. And so dads, that's where you're at. First thing, plug into dad awesome. If you're please find those areas. Plug in the known legacy. We just want you to speak life
[00:26:34] Speaker C: right
[00:26:35] Speaker B: and look at your future. Just like Jeff's going, I want to be there for 50 years.
Like, our kids deserve that example. Our kids deserve that example because there's enough idiots out there. You don't have to be one.
[00:26:46] Speaker C: Right?
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Like, we can be life givers. And so, man. So what else, what else do you guys do tangibly that kind of promotes dad Awesome. I know you do a lot of the spartan events, you things like that.
Because I blew my ACL out, I can't run ever again. It's not because I choose not to. I have no
[00:27:02] Speaker C: excuse, except I'm
[00:27:03] Speaker B: fat chatting. I'm just kidding. Share, share a little bit about what dad does on the practical day to day.
[00:27:08] Speaker E: Yeah, the practical dad awesome. Again, we exist, the hearts of fathers turning toward heaven, toward home. But the three things we do, we do conversations, challenges and coaching. So our conversations would be our weekly podcast, our small group curriculum to kind of help. We've got pockets of dads all over the place doing kind of our seven week going through our core discoveries. We have the book that launched six months ago, the dad Awesome Book, which essentially is 400 podcast episodes turned portable into these seven minute chapters of helping dads find these core discoveries. So story driven and clear like they all end with the labs of like do this. And we, we are temp. Like every one of us. I am tempted to be a dad of intent instead of a dad of action. And everything we offer at dad, awesome. From our conversations, our challenges, and our coaches. Like, we want to move you to being a dad of action. Imperfectly. Imperfectly. Just be a dad of action.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:02] Speaker E: Because our kids never benefit from a dad who had all this intent. Okay, so, so we do conversations, challenges. We've hosted 35 events across the country. And these challenges are 100 mile bike rides. They're spartan races. I'm wearing the spartan shirt today. Taking on obstacle course races. We do triathlons, trail runs. Murph Challenges. We basically believe that and have seen proven for eight years that the side door to a man's heart is challenge. Okay, we do challenges, and it's all in brotherhood. We do it together. We use it. It is an avenue of fueling fatherhood work. So our challenge teams raise funds that fuel our ministry and help us support and sustain our ministry. But the hearts, again, we do something hard and we show many of the kids of these dads who join our challenges. It's the hardest thing the dad has done physically and completed that kid has ever seen their dad. Yes. So,
[00:28:56] Speaker C: yes.
[00:28:57] Speaker E: So we do challenges and, and we're really open to any leader saying, pick me. I'll run a challenge in my community. Like next year especially, we're going to really be empowering anyone because in the past, we've done like six events a year across the country and then you have to be in one of our areas. Now we're really more empowering of local leaders. Can do a team dad awesome challenge. So, and then coaching right after this call, actually right after recording this podcast, I'm hosting my 14th cohort of. We take 10 dads at. At a time through our six core discoveries. Through homework. They've got homework. Every week. They. They show up for an hour. Zoom call. They're matched with a battle brother. And we see these dads are spending money, time, commitment, accountability, sharing stories. And six weeks later, they truly are like the journey of fatherhood. They've taken a cannonball in the deep end versus, versus dabbled. Okay, so the, the coaching cohorts. And then we're adding immersive coaching in northeast Florida, where guys will fly in for the beachhead experience that'll launch in April. Our first immersive coaching. So that's, that's what we're up to. And we like any ways we can Help serve from local church. We're building resources for the local church to have a dad awesome score. Like, actually survey the dads and say, are we helping dads be awesome dads? And it doesn't even have to be our resources. It's just, are, are we helping dads grow? Take this role, see it as a treasured gift. And, and yeah, so that's some of what we're doing at dad awesome.
[00:30:18] Speaker C: So I, I love it because a lot of dads are like, I know I'm failing. I don't know what to do about that. And what you're doing is providing them a roadmap and providing them tangible tools that they can begin to incorporate into their lives to change.
You know, six months from now, you can be a very different dad than you are today. So if you're listening and you're like, man, I'm failing at this. I need to improve this. Don't just languish for six months. Get involved with dad awesome. Find out what's going on, download some of the resources, buy some of the stuff, invest some resources into it more. You know, we have no problem investing in a golf course. Why don't we invest in some of these resources that we can actually implement into our lives and change our kids, our grandkids, and our great grandkids futures because of the six month journey that we're willing to take today. Yeah. You know, imagine that just for a minute.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: I love it. So how can guys get involved with dad awesome.
[00:31:08] Speaker E: Yeah. First, before even a tactical, like, tell your kids this today. Okay, Ready? This is really practical. Okay. Okay, listen. If they're little, get down on their level. Look them right in the eyes. Shiny eyes. Shiny eyes are contagious. Right? Tell your kids if they're older, send them a text message. Send them a voice text, whatever it is, take them out for some barbecue, whatever. The thing is, make sure your kids hear this.
I love that I get to be your dad. I love, and I am so thankful that I get to be your dad. So it's the honor principle that I learned from another one of my mentors. The honor principle is if a famous. You know, if Chris Pratt walked in. Okay, if, if. If you name whoever the actor is or the author or the sports star into a coffee shop where I'm sitting, I would physically respond with nervousness, with energy, with looking, with like, I would almost gasp if someone who's very famous walked in. We get to carry that honor principle into our homes, in our families, and deliver with our shiny eyes. And our words, the treasuring and honoring and gratitude that I get to be your dad. So that. Anyways, that's bonus. You asked how they can connect. DadAwesome.org is our website. All of our resources are on Instagram at Dad awesome on Instagram. And the dad awesome book actually launches the audio version on Audible in, like, three weeks. Congratulations. Thanksgiving. It'll be on audio, and it's got, like, 20 bonus content of a bunch of, like, extra for the dad who. The pages is kind of a limited. Like, I don't have time to open. Yes. They can listen on the commute. They can listen to it.
[00:32:38] Speaker C: I love it. Love it. And that's a phenomenal action item. And we always ask for, like, what's your one action item? And I don't want to put words in your mouth, and by all means, you can adjust this. But I do feel like, like, you know, say, telling your kids you love them is great, but telling them that you are honored to be their dad is so next level. And. And that, like, I just can envision having that conversation with each one of my kids today and be like. They'd be like, thanks, dad.
It's an honor being your kid, too. Even though.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:33:06] Speaker C: You know, and just. It changes that relationship. Absolutely. Because imagine again, Chris Pratt walks in, right. And you're nervous about it. He comes over, he goes, I'm honored to be your friend.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: Yeah. You
[00:33:18] Speaker C: know, and you're like, dude, you have all these things. You have everything. Yeah. And I get to be your friend. And you're, like, cherishing that to the point where you say, I'm honored to be your friend when you could be a friend with anyone. Dude, that changes a relationship. Completely changes a relationship, you know?
[00:33:33] Speaker B: I love it. I love it. I think
[00:33:34] Speaker C: that's the kid. Know that you're for them, not against them. Yeah. Even though we have to have hard conversations, even though we have to have discipline, and even though we have to set boundaries. Right. And they'll blow through those boundaries. We have to bring forgiveness like, we asked for it. But to be able to sit down and say, no, no, no. At the end of the day, man, I just. I love being your dad. A little nugget.
When my kids were playing football and it was eighth grade, I was that horrible dad that would coach from the sideline, if you know those guys, maybe you don't, but. But there's dads that just feel obsessed to coach from the sideline. And one of the dads walking back to the parking lot, he Says, you know what? The hardest transition for me was to just be a fan. And every day to tell my kid, I just love watching you play that sport.
And I'm like, just to cheer him on. No longer coach them, because there's other people who are paid money now to coach them. I just get to be a fan. And that revolutionized our conversations in the car after the sports. That revolutionized our relationship because no longer was I authority figure. I was just a fan. I was like, dude, I just love watching you play. But I didn't play much. I don't care. I love watching the team, and I love watching you play. And it's a joy to watch you do what you do. And that absolutely transformed my relationship with my junior high kids and absolutely transformed it.
[00:34:44] Speaker B: Man, I feel like the call to action today is it's never too late to start to speak life.
[00:34:48] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: And so I love that heart of man. Let's just speak life. Let's be the one out of 10 that looks at our kids and says, I see my great grandchildren in your eyes, and I want you to speak life and them to speak life. And so then we look in the future and go, this is who I want my family to become.
And I've got to be the one to start that. It's never too late. And I love that God's mercies are new every morning. And that doesn't mean every morning. It means right now. If you were a jerk before, you listen to this, like you said, and I would. I love the voice text. I think they hear the inflection.
[00:35:20] Speaker C: Yes, yes.
[00:35:21] Speaker B: It's so valuable. So when you said that send the voice text and. And have the. But if you can have the face to face conversation. Right? Like one of our guys we had on John. John was talking about, like, in your eyes. Like, I delight in you. Like to see your eyes is so valuable. So, Jeff, I don't think you're doing anything of value. And so I really think we probably should probably call it quits at this point.
Kind of a failure.
So. Man, it was. I guess we just wasted 30 minutes. I don't know.
Hey, any. Before we jump into the Fast5, any final thoughts from you or calls to action you'd like to share about? About your ministry or to the guys that are listening today?
[00:36:00] Speaker E: I'd love to give an unexpected superpower to every single dad. Okay. And. And here. Here's what it is. If you want. And maybe just. I'm gonna let this pause for a second. Do you want to grow As a father, do you want to be a more present, more intentional, more awesome father? And so the answer is, if they're listening at this point, these guys, the answer is, yes, we do want that. The superpower to move from. Want to look back six weeks from now, six months from now, and actually have moved the needle. The superpower is give it to other dads. So instead of you thinking about yourself, if every one of these dads can give it to two or three other dads, and this is how you do it. You simply light a campfire, invite these two or three dads over, and say, let's. Let's get together every other week for the next six, eight weeks. Let's smoke a cigar together. Let's grab a good cup of coffee. Let's. Whatever your thing is, if you give intentional fatherhood, if you give being an awesome dad to two or three other dads, if you just choose to go beyond yourself and say, I want this for me, but I'm going to create the conditions to have a few other dads grow, I'm just going to, whether it's. It's my book, it's some other fatherhood book, and say, hey, let's just chip through this. Over the course of seven sessions, you will have a superpower in the amount of growth you experience if you just bring it to two or three other dads. As soon as we start inviting a couple other dads to grow, we have. We have created the conditions that force follow through for ourselves. And we will show up and take five times the takeaways as the three or four dads that we invite in because we have put ourselves into being a leader. And God wants all of us as dads in the fatherhood sphere to be leaders. He doesn't want us to be passive participants. He wants us to lead because then it ripples. So that's my fatherhood superpower is do it for others, and you will experience 5x the growth in your own fatherhood. And I just think so many of us don't because of a whisper, a whisper that says, who am I to lead other dads? Because I failed in this way two days ago and I failed in this way two weeks ago. Go. So we can erase and quiet the lie and just give it to two or three other dads. That's your superpower of growth,
[00:38:10] Speaker C: dude.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Amen.
[00:38:12] Speaker C: So good, Jeff. Thank you so much.
[00:38:13] Speaker B: Yeah, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but God came to get life. And so just shut down the enemy and start speaking life. Yep. I Love it. Well, then, as we move into our Fast five series, there it is.
He's. He's ready. He's ready. All right, number one, what is a book you're currently reading?
[00:38:31] Speaker E: So tough to answer one book because I always have a little stack of different ones.
The Heavenly man by Christian Brother Yoon is so packed with miracle stories in the 1970s and 80s in the, in the church house church movement in China when it was absolutely opposed.
Massive, crazy, unforgettable chapters of real life documented miracles that happened in China. So Christian Brother Yoon, the heavenly man, and then Brendan Manning and man, if you can read anything ruthless trust regamuffin gospel, like anywhere in that. And then written in the 1930s, one of the accounts of Theodore Roosevelt. I'm learning like this old, like the way it's written, the pace of this book and I'm just chipping away at the life of, of President Teddy Roosevelt and anyways, those are a few things I'm reading.
[00:39:14] Speaker B: So fun fact.
I know Brother Yoon and yeah, I had to do a session with him sitting in my class.
Yeah, bro, what the heck, man? I was like, what am I doing teaching?
So, yeah, he's
[00:39:30] Speaker E: amazing. You've got to hear this. That book came out of a bin I was helping a friend move and slid across the floor and hit me in the feet. Like that book leapt out of a bin. And I read it. And two of my daughters have read the first 100 pages and I had to stop them because of the tortures. It was so great. Oh,
[00:39:44] Speaker B: it's so bad.
[00:39:45] Speaker E: But the first hundred pages they read, my. Two of my daughters read. And so anyways, that book. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: Yeah, it was, it was amazing. I remember when I met him, he says three words and, well, he says three phrases. Praise the Lord, hallelujah and Amen in English. That's all he knows. And so everything else, but he says them very, very well. That's awesome. But yeah, amazing, amazing. Man of God. Yes. Worth the read. Check it out. Number two, what is something you're excited about in this season of life?
[00:40:15] Speaker E: I'm excited about my date with my wife. Yeah.
And ministry wise, I'm excited about the board of directors. Our. Our leadership team flies into Flagler beach and we're spending three days together. Just in like nine days from now, they're flying down and I. And it's as much play as it is like prayerful. Strategically play together as a board and then we strategically plan for the next two years. So
[00:40:37] Speaker B: that's awesome. That's awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Number three. If you could pick one decade to go back to, what would it be?
[00:40:44] Speaker E: Yeah, the late 80s. I'm just thinking about myself at 7 years old and exploring this creek and building log cabins, stuff in the gaps with mud and clay and like. Yes. So I'm thinking about myself in that. Less of what was happening in the 80s, but the late 80s. I'll go back there. Yeah, let's do it.
[00:41:01] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:41:01] Speaker C: I'm in, I'm in with. I'll
[00:41:02] Speaker B: join you and Zam running by.
[00:41:04] Speaker C: And the music was so good.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. All right. What is your go to? Fast food?
[00:41:12] Speaker E: So we don't allow any chain restaurants in our little beach town or little town. Nice beach. So Wham Burger. Wham Burger is.
It's, it's, it's the spot here. If you're, if you're in the area, go to Wham Burger and you will not be disappointed.
[00:41:25] Speaker B: I love it. That sounds awesome. Okay. Wham Burger and shout out to
[00:41:29] Speaker C: before you go. Go. Sorry. The band. 80s again. I know. There you go. You're welcome. You're welcome. Oh my gosh.
[00:41:34] Speaker B: I'm done. Really good.
[00:41:35] Speaker C: You're done for the
[00:41:35] Speaker B: day. That was amazing. And I love that you clapped.
[00:41:38] Speaker C: You have to.
Judahbug.
[00:41:41] Speaker B: Sorry,
[00:41:42] Speaker C: sorry.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: Welcome to our world.
Number five. If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
[00:41:52] Speaker E: I mean, it's what I just did. It's the deep calming.
Take a deep breath.
I think there's so much hustle.
My younger self, high school, college, young, married young, young. Like there's so much hustle. And I lay on the beach at 5:55 in the morning three days a week. I go. And it's a group called Pursuit. We work out together, but we do breath holds for the first 12 minutes. These breath holds and we look at the stars. We're here in the ocean. At times we're getting bit by bugs while we're doing our breath holds. But the just the calming.
I want to carry a non anxious presence. I want to carry steadiness and strength. Strength. And I didn't do that. I really haven't in the last 20, the last two decades of my life, I have not carried a lot of peaceful. Most people who know me are not like Jeff's the most calm.
He like he is, he is just like steady. They're like, no. He launches a lot of things. He gets a lot of things moving. He launches stuff. He gathers, he's doing stuff. But I'm also a little bit stressed. I'm a little bit scrambling to the next thing. I'm a little bit like sharp with my girls because they're not loading in the van as fast as they should. And I, I want to, want to tell myself, take a deep breath.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: Good, good wisdom, good wisdom, man. This has been a good, good podcast, man. We need to have you back on and hear more of what you're doing. This is not the last time we're going to have you on. Not at all. You are an energy maker and we want to connect. I love making the world smaller. Thank you for, for faithfully wielding the piece of the pie that God gave you and being faithful to that. So guys, check out dad awesome man. Make sure that you connect with them. We'll put links below for that and at least get like the book as well. Yep on there the links for there. Guys, check out our stuff, the Wake Up Guide and seven Day Reset if you want to just kick start your journey. If you want to see where you are, it is a free download for you. Check out our Adrenaline Shot and as well as check out our
[email protected] and with with our audio version as well. We are so excited that you decided to to be with us today. Make sure you go and support dad. Awesome. Make sure you come and support Known Legacy so that we can continue to make this happen. Travis, final thoughts from you.
[00:44:01] Speaker C: God bless you guys. Not too late.
[00:44:03] Speaker B: Have a great week, brothers.
[00:44:05] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to the Known Legacy podcast. We'd love to hear from you. So email us your questions or comments to infonolegacy.org.
